Navigating Identity: Empowering Teens to Embrace Who They Are

Navigating Identity: Empowering Teens to Embrace Who They Are

By Andrew Jackson

Embracing the Journey of Self-Discovery

The teenage years—a time when young minds begin to pave their own way, they begin to question the world around them and, more importantly, themselves. It's a journey filled with inevitable turmoil, as well as amazing memories that contribute to their foundations. Often times both teens and parents are struck with fear of what could be, but what if we could guide our teens to navigate this path with excitement rather than fear?

Creating a Safe Space of Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is difficult, and I’d argue nearly impossible. It’s natural that we as parents and mentors want certain things for our children, and we experience a variety of emotions when expectations or wants are not met. All of us are human and you will fall short somewhere when providing unconditional love. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do our best to set ourselves and our children up for success. As parents our role isn't to mold or fix our children into who we think they should be. Instead, it's to provide a foundation of unwavering support. A place where our teens can vocalize their concerns, their desires, and ambitions without fear of judgment or otherwise. Essentially strive towards unconditional love with our teens. When teens feel safe and accepted, they're more likely to explore their identities authentically and confidently. They need the space to trial these ideas, ways of being, and conduct without being ashamed. That doesn’t mean you can’t provide positive feedback or ask questions. Just do so that doesn’t shame or make the teen feel helpless or incapable.

Fostering Curiosity Over Control

Curiosity is a powerful catalyst for growth. Encourage your teens to ask questions, explore new ideas, and challenge existing beliefs. Ask them questions that make them think about all sides of their view or idea, make statements about what you hear them saying so they can clarify and feel heard. Rather than directing their path by telling them what is right or wrong in a scenario, walk alongside them and ask questions that lead them to find more about their view and consider if it is what’s best for them or not. Show interest in their passions, and be open to learning from them. 

Letting Go of Fear-Based Parenting

Fear often drives us to overprotect and control, helicopter if you will. This approach can inadvertently stifle our children's growth. If you want someone to develop resilience they have to fail and experience the emotions associated with it. If we want them to persevere that have to become comfortable with being rejected. They can’t experience these things if we don’t allow that as a possibility or if we prevent it all together. Trust in the values you've instilled in them. Allow them the freedom to make choices, take risks, and even face failures. These experiences are essential for building self-reliance.

Celebrating Individuality

Every teen is unique. They have their own talents, dreams, and quirks. Celebrate what makes them different, highlight it, and ask them questions about the possibilities around these things. Maybe they’ll accidentally discover a new passion or goal. Encourage them to do art, music, play sports, or anything that gets them excited. This will help them learn more about themselves as well as become comfortable expressing themselves. When teens see that their individuality is valued, they gain the confidence to stand tall in who they are. Each teen is 1 of 1, knowing that makes you carry yourself a little differently.

Conclusion: Empowerment Through Acceptance

Empowering teens isn't about steering them toward a predetermined destination. You can certainly guide them to their desired destination and offer insights that might help. Goals and wants change, but the skills they learn and the support of their parents don't. This is what guarantees their success. It's about equipping them with the tools to carve their own path. By fostering an environment of love, curiosity, and acceptance, we help them embrace their true selves with excitement and courage.

Andrew Jackson